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  • Nicky Stade

Spot Sneaky Selfishness Before It Stops You


Recently I was invited to speak at an event, and I was told to prepare a topic that’s within my area of expertise and somehow tied into their theme on "victory". It took me a while to think about that, because my first thought was, "What am I an expert on??"

Then I realized there is definitely one area in which I can call myself a true expert: selfishness.

Selfishness is understood to be a pre-occupation with one's self--we think of it as the opposite of humility. We often assume that in order to be considered "selfish", one must act in a manner that puts themselves ahead of others in an effort to gain an advantage. But there is another, more sneaky side to selfishness (and I think more of us struggle with this pre-occupation with ourselves than we think).

Many of us would never admit we struggle with selfishness. In fact, if there is one area where we often feel pride--it's in how humble we are! Humility is described as a modest or low view of one’s own importance, or a freedom from pride or arrogance. This is often confused with a lack of confidence or an uncertainty about oneself, which is both the definition of insecurity and the one thing that, unfortunately, I can claim to be an expert.

While these sound similar, they are two very different things…the main difference is simply where our focus lies: is it on others or on ourselves?

If you've spent any time in church at all, you've probably heard that God wants us to walk in victory and has a purpose and a plan for your life. HE DOES! But how many of us find it hard to live that out because of insecurity that’s cleverly disguised as humility? There are 3 areas I want to address in this series:

  1. When we think “I am not enough”

  2. When we think “It depends on me”

  3. When we think "I can never forgive myself"

You may wonder what any of these things have to do with selfishness...but there are in fact 3 things these insecurities have in common: ME, MYSELF & I. Over the next few weeks, I want to break open the sneaky side of selfishness and help you to find victory in this area. It's something I wish I could say I have fully accomplished, but it's a work in progress--and I'd love to work on this with you!

#victory #insecurity

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