Who Do You Think You Are?
Wonder Woman. Batman. Wasp. Hawkeye. Black Widow.
I have always been drawn to fantasy & superhero movies. My favorite types of stories are the ones where the main character is just living her normal, mundane life completely unaware of her abilities until some catalyst propels her towards her destiny. Often, the main character is just as surprised as anyone that he or she was able to save the day. But I imagine how fun it must be to create a superhero identity...how does one decide on a look, a costume or probably most importantly, a name?
Last summer, I attended a conference that was themed around our identity in Christ. The speaker shared a story about how God had given her a new name, a name which defined who she really was in His eyes. She prayed over us and asked us to spend some time asking the Lord if He had a name for each of us as well.
I was really struggling at that time. Things in my life seemed to be going well on the outside, but I struggled with who I was on the inside and what--if anything--God had really called me to do. I was tired of being "Nicky": a loud, insecure, clumsy, not-so-young-anymore woman who sometimes doesn't have a filter between her brain and her mouth. I hid it well, but I desperately wanted a new identity--a new name.
Do you struggle with who you are? Or am I the only one?
I believe God's Word is truth, so I knew that despite my unstable start in this world, God had created me (Psalm 139:13-14), chosen & appointed me (John 15:16), and set a path before me (Jeremiah 29:11)...yet I sat there unsure if I was worthy or capable. (I am convinced that this is a key tactic of the enemy: isolation, fear & doubt. Why do we fall for it every time?)
As I prayed, I began to sense God's presence. He really is a kind and gracious God. Knowing my heart the way only He can, He spoke to my spirit, "I have already given you a name, and that name is Nicky."
Can I be honest with you right now? I was a little disappointed. Really? That's not a "cool" name! Other women were getting up to tearfully share that they heard names spoken to them like LOVE, JOY, GRACE--things God was calling them to walk in as their true identity--and all I get is the same name I've had for nearly 40 years?
But God's got jokes.
I prayed more, and He continued to respond in the same way. So, I decided to Google the name "Nicky" and I was speechless (which is rare). As I sat there, feeling alone and defeated, the Lord showed me that my name meant VICTORY.
There are days when I still feel unworthy or incapable, and then I'm reminded by a still, small voice: He has called me Nicky. He has called me Victory.
"But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: 'Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.'" Isaiah 43:1
Who are you in Christ? If you're unsure of your identity in Him, would you pray for Him to give you a new name and then share it here? And while we're at it--just for fun--who would you be if you could be any imaginary superhero? Comment below!